Becoming New – Part 2: The Freedom of Forgiveness

“You can’t carry grace while holding on to a grudge.”

INTRODUCTION

If becoming new in Christ begins with identity, the next step is this: healing through forgiveness.

You may carry the scars of betrayal, deep wounds from people you trusted, or the regret of things you wish you’d never said or done. Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive… is yourself.

We often say we’ve forgiven, yet we still flinch at the memory. We still define ourselves by what happened, or what we did. The truth is, there can be no freedom without forgiveness. Not partial forgiveness. Not delayed forgiveness. But full, surrendered, Jesus-shaped forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not an optional part of the new life. It is the pathway to it.

THE TRAP OF UNFORGIVENESS

Unforgiveness isn’t just an emotion. It’s a prison.

Harvard Medical School published a study showing that holding on to resentment increases cortisol levels, impairs immune response, and causes long-term emotional distress. But the study also revealed that forgiveness literally rewires your brain, reducing anxiety and depression while increasing emotional resilience.

Spiritually, Jesus said it plainly:

Matthew 6:14–15 (NIV)
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

That’s a hard word. But necessary. Because the unforgiven heart stays stuck in the past—chained to pain and blind to the future.

“You cannot step into newness while dragging old offenses.”

THE HEBREW WORD STUDY: NASA (נָשָׂא)

One of the Hebrew words used for forgive is nasa — meaning to lift, to carry away, to take up and remove a burden.

When God forgives, He doesn’t just ignore sin. He lifts it off your shoulders.

This is the same word used in Psalm 103:12 (NIV):
“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

To forgive is to lift the weight off another’s shoulders. It is to say: You don’t owe me anymore.

“Forgiveness doesn’t pretend the wound didn’t happen—it just releases the right to retaliate.”

💥 PUNCHLINE:
“Forgiveness is not a feeling. It’s a decision to stop bleeding on people who didn’t cut you.”

A TRUE STORY: “The Letter She Never Sent”

Years ago, I met a young woman after a ministry session. Her eyes were filled with years of silence. She handed me a folded piece of paper and said, “This is a letter I wrote to my father after he left us when I was nine. I never sent it.”

The letter was raw. Full of questions. Rage. Ache.

She kept it for 15 years.

I asked her gently, “Why haven’t you released him?”

She said, “Because I want him to hurt like I did.”

But as we prayed, something shifted. Through tears, she whispered the words: ‘I forgive you.’

She didn’t excuse the wound. She didn’t deny the damage. She just chose freedom over bitterness.

That was the day she got free.

Today, she’s walking in healing, speaking to other women, leading small groups, and finally living again.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean the story never happened. It just means it doesn’t own you anymore.

THE CROSS: OUR MODEL OF MERCY

Forgiveness is not just a command.
It is the very DNA of the gospel.

Luke 23:34 (NKJV)
“Then Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.’”

Who was He forgiving?
The ones who spat on Him. Stripped Him. Drove nails into His body. Mocked His name.

If He can forgive that, then nothing is unforgivable for those in Him.

WHAT FORGIVENESS IS—AND IS NOT

Forgiveness is:
A decision to release.
A declaration of grace.
A doorway to healing.

Forgiveness is not:
Forgetting the pain.
Trusting the offender again (that’s a separate process).
Saying what happened was okay.

“Forgiveness is the surgery that removes the knife—not the scar.”

🎯 PRACTICAL WAYS TO WALK IN FORGIVENESS:

1. Name the Offense Honestly

You cannot heal from what you refuse to name. Jesus never minimized sin. Neither should you. Call it what it was—and then let it go.

2. Pray Blessing Over the Offender

Yes, it’s hard. But Jesus told us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44, NIV).

This doesn’t mean you feel warm inside. It means you choose to bless even when it burns.

3. Forgive Yourself

Some of the deepest bondage isn’t what others did to us—but what we did to ourselves.

1 John 1:9 (ESV)
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

If He forgave you, who are you to hold it against yourself?

🔄 RESTORATION AFTER RELEASE

Forgiveness is the beginning—not the end. It opens the door for restoration, not only with others but within yourself.

“The wound may have been out of your control—but the healing is within your choice.”

Isaiah 43:18–19 (NIV)
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!”

God’s desire is not to suppress your pain, but to redeem it.

CLOSING ENCOURAGEMENT

Forgiveness is not weakness.
It is the greatest evidence of God’s strength in you.

It doesn’t erase your story.
It just changes the ending.

When you forgive, you become more like Jesus.

You reflect His heart. You walk in His power.
And you finally live as someone new.

📌 REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. Is there someone you need to forgive, even if they never say sorry?

2. What offense have you carried that still defines how you see yourself?

3. Have you forgiven yourself for past mistakes? If not, what’s holding you back?

4. What’s one practical step you can take this week toward healing and release?

🕊️ A PRAYER OF FORGIVENESS

Father, I bring before You the pain I’ve buried—the wounds that shaped me, the names I’ve been called, and the guilt I’ve carried. I release every offense. I choose to forgive, even if I don’t feel it yet. I surrender the right to revenge. I let go of the bitterness. And I ask You to help me forgive myself too. Thank You for the cross, where forgiveness flows freely. I receive that freedom today. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

📝 REFERENCES

1. Harvard Medical School (2021) – “The Power of Forgiveness.”
Retrieved from: www.health.harvard.edu

2. Barna Group (2022) – Faith and Resilience Among Young Adults Study.
Retrieved from: www.barna.com

3. Hebrew Word Study:
Nasa (נָשָׂא) — Strong’s Concordance H5375; Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew Lexicon

4. Scripture References:
Matthew 6:14–15 (NIV)
Psalm 103:12 (NIV)
Luke 23:34 (NKJV)
Matthew 5:44 (NIV)
1 John 1:9 (ESV)
Isaiah 43:18–19 (NIV)

📍 Read more at: www.isaiahfadzlin.com
Coming next: Part 3 — “The Pursuit of Wholeness: Becoming Who You Were Meant to Be.”